Okay, we're back.
My computer was so screwed up that it would have literally cost more to repair than purchase a new one, so I did the latter.
It sucks, but that's the last 11 months for you, right?
Okay, we're back.
My computer was so screwed up that it would have literally cost more to repair than purchase a new one, so I did the latter.
It sucks, but that's the last 11 months for you, right?
My computer crashed and my pizza photos are unavailable at the moment. Hopefully I’ll be back next Friday.
This is my main complaint with pesto sauce. It's a good complement to pasta on occasion but it's not flavorful enough to be used as a base for a pizza. Unless you're going to add bold flavors, don't use pesto.
THE RATING: πππ
(THE RATING WITH A BALSAMIC VINEGAR REDUCTION: ππππ)
So I bought several more. And hated the next two I tried - rising crust pepperoni and thin crust supreme.
This Margherita is the last of them about which I will write.
Ever.
I did not hate this one like the previous two... but it wasn't very good.
So I guess the BBQ chicken pizza was the outlier.
Here's the deal: This Margherita pizza had a decent crust - it was one of the most buttery crusts I have ever had on a frozen pizza. And the sauce was very tomato-forward; unlike the last two 365 pizzas, this actually had good flavors.
I wish there had been more pronounced garlic flavor, but then again I saw that about almost everything I eat that contains garlic. (In my mid-20s, I had a coworker who was half-Mexican, half-Salvadoran, and that dude could eat spicier foods and more garlic than anyone I have ever met. One day, the two of us decided to order a pizza for lunch and requested TRIPLE garlic on it. It was the only pizza of my life where I shrugged and said "Okay, yeah, that was too much garlic." Jose agreed.)
But overall, this thing was just too boring.
So I have now eaten four Whole Foods pizzas. One was delicious, two were not good, and this one was completely middle-of-the-road.
I don't use half-slice ratings, but if I did, this one would be the exact definition of two-and-a-half. The reason I'm going to bump it up to three is that this pie's blandness served as a perfect vehicle for adding hot sauce.
THE RATING: πππ
Where to begin.
Let's start with the crust.
When people say they hate frozen pizza crust, this is exactly of what they are speaking. Flavorless and tasting stale even when baked.
I roll my eyes when someone says a crust tastes "like cardboard." First of all, it is perhaps the biggest clichΓ© in food, but more importantly... who the fuck has ever eaten cardboard? How do you know what cardboard tastes like? Can't you find any other way to put down a crust?
That being said, if I ever did take a bite of cardboard, I would not be shocked to find it tastes like this.
The Hatch chiles were some of the worst I have ever had. A great Hatch chile - and freshly-roasted Hatch chiles are one of the great foods in the world - contains a depth of earthy flavors and spices that make you wonder why you don't put Hatch chiles on everything you eat.
These had no flavor and no spice whatsoever. They might as well have been bell peppers.
The pizza sauce was the lone highlight of the pie: it tasted like roasted tomatos and fresh herbs. I wish they had put any of the effort that went into making the sauce into the rest of the pizza, too.
WisePies offers other flavors but this was such a staggering disappointment that there is no way I will ever try any of them.
THE RATING: π
I did not eat any frozen pizza this week, but I have two planned for today while I watch college football, so I will be back next week for sure.
And I was pleased upon unboxing the pizza: There are lots of toppings and many of them extend to the edge.
The flavors weren't bad. They were nonexistent.
There were not enough toppings. It's tempting to say that more of them might have helped, but then again, the toppings that did exist were so flavorless, I do not believe more of the would have made any difference.
The first 365 pizza I tried, the BBQ Chicken, was so good that I thought I had stumbled upon an untapped resource for frozen pizza. It turns out, that was the outlier. All the rest of them have sucked.
And this was the worst. By far.
THE RATING: π
As for taste? Not bad. Not good. Flavorless.
The crust was better than average, though of course with frozen pizza, that is a low bar to clear.
I would have been very disappointed if I had paid full price for this only to find the meager amount of insipid toppings.
I ended up sprinkling salt and pepper on top, drizzling it with olive oil, and eating it that way - a kind of vaguely-flavored breadsticks.
I will not be getting one of these again. I will not be getting any American Flatbread pizzas again, not even at 50% off.
THE RATING: ππ
Ignoring the way it looked, how was the taste?
Meh.
It wasn't bad, but it was way too doughy, the flavor of which drowned out everything else. I could not even taste the pepperoni; it might as well have been a cheese pizza.
I will not be getting this again at half-price. I sure as hell won't be getting it at full price.
If I am offered one for free... I'd probably say no thanks.
THE RATING: ππ
That's what it reads on the box and my memory drifts back to a rainy afternoon in youth that I once spent in the "food loving region of Bologna."
Wanna know where I ate lunch?
McDonald's.
(And it would not be the last McDonald's meal of the trip.)
When they say that youth is wasted on the young, this is exactly what they're talking about.
Anyway, you know my thoughts on Trader Joe's. I love the place. Rarely do I purchase an item I do not like. Even more rare that it is one of their pizzas.
So I happily tried this one.
Charmingly, the box instructs you to "cook and serve" - in case you have never before had a frozen pizza and are struggling with the concept - so I cooked it and served it (to myself).
It's small, but then again it says so right there in the name, so I can't complain. If you have an appetite smaller than mine (odds are, you do) you could probably eat this with a salad for a meal. I would need more.
I suppose it would be somewhat elegant to cook a couple of these and serve them with wine at a cocktail party, though as I write these words in November of 2020, I would not recommend doing that anytime soon.
The dough is rather dense, resembling stale breadsticks more than great pizza dough. The cheese and sauce are a pleasant combination but there is not enough of it. The tomatoes are inoffensive. This may sound like damning with faint praise, but remember, I do not like tomatoes so this is actually quite a compliment.
This wasn't bad; it just wasn't particularly good. I'm not sure why Trader Joe's felt the need to create this one. I wish they would have tried something a little more adventurous.
I do not plan to get this again for myself. However, I hope to one day do my aforementioned idea of serving these with some wine to guests.
THE RATING: πππ