Friday, January 10, 2020

DiGiorno Artisan Thin Crust ("Cheese Board")

How much money do you think DiGiorno spends every year on product development and packaging? It's gotta be massive, right? It seems like they come out with half a dozen new styles of frozen pizza every year.

Overall, though, I would call them one of the better makers of frozen pizza, if only because, once for such a beautiful while, they made that spectacular deep dish pizza, which was the best frozen pizza I have ever had.

So, when I spotted this new product with the (admittedly ridiculous) label of "ARTISAN THIN CRUST," I decided to give it a try.

I've had many three-cheese and four-cheese frozen pizzas over the years. Never have I tried - never have I even dreamed I might one day try - a pizza with seven cheeses. What a world.

As pictured on the box, large pools of red sauce dotted the pie.

First the good: the cheeses were tasty and the garlic cream sauce did not taste fake. That sounds like damning with faint praise but often you will encounter cream sauces that taste of margarine and nothing else. This tasted strongly of garlic and real cream.

Now the bad: the crust was not thin crust. Not even close. Thin crust pizza is my favorite style (followed by deep-dish; "regular" is my least favorite style as it is just... just so....  just so regular) and this was false advertising.

And now the ugly (the really ugly): the red sauce was the worst-tasting pizza sauce I have ever encountered. Let me repeat that key word: EVER.

I decided to only eat the bits of pizza without any red sauce on it, but after a few more small bites, I gave up. I was no longer hungry.

With a good red sauce, this would have earned three, maybe even four slices. But, as it was:


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