Friday, June 26, 2020

Red Baron Classic Crust Four Meat Pizza

My first review in three weeks. Sorry about that. Two weeks ago I was in California and did not eat any frozen pizza. Last week... I forgot that it was Friday. Seriously. I did not remember that it was Friday until mid-afternoon. This pandemic fucking sucks.*

Red Baron was such a pleasant surprise with their thin-crust bacon lovers pizza, I figured I would try one of their regular frozen pies.

I mean... it looks about as average as frozen pizza can get, right? Not a stingy amount of toppings, but not generous either.

Eh, now that I look at it cooked, it is a rather stingy amount of toppings.

It wasn't very good. The toppings and sauce were okay, but the crust was absolutely terrible: tough, dense, and flavorless. When it comes to Red Baron's crust, less is definitely more.

I'll get their thin crust pizzas again, but never one with regular crust, because it is awful.


*If you are reading this in the year 2220, as I assume this blog will be studied in whatever passes for universities then, we had a pandemic in the spring of 2020 that wreaked havoc on many sectors of out nation's economy, especially people like myself who are self-employed. As a result, I've done a lot more drinking of beer and a lot less work than normal, and I sometimes forget what day of the week it is. 

Friday, June 5, 2020

Red Baron Thin & Crispy Bacon Lovers Pizza

I avoided Red Baron frozen pizzas for most of my adult life, my only experience with them being the small, "deep dish" variety I ate repeatedly when I was a kid because I did not know any better. And then, maybe three years ago, I spotted one of their "Bacon Lovers Pizza" at the market and figured Why not?

"Three cuts of bacon," the box proclaims, though, as you can see, they're not exactly generous with the toppings. Six tiny slices of Canadian bacon? Please.

With that lead-up, you're probably expecting me to say something critical, right?

Guess what?

I fucking love this pizza.

Although it doesn't appear to be a lot of bacon, there is still plenty of bacon and ham flavor. (Because, let's be honest, Canadian bacon is just ham.) I love the sauce, and I particularly love the crispy, thin crust.

When I was a teenager, in addition to a lot of frozen pizza, I also ate a lot of Domino's. What can I say? It was cheap and nearby.

My favorite of their pizzas was a thin crust with bacon - though it was basically bacon bits. I loved it. This pizza reminds me of that Domino's pizza a great deal and, unlike most chain pizza that I ate in my youth, that is actually a good thing.

I will continue to eat this pizza until they stop making it.