Friday, January 29, 2021

A Brief Intermission

My computer crashed and my pizza photos are unavailable at the moment. Hopefully I’ll be back next Friday. 

Friday, January 22, 2021

Trader Joe's Roasted Garlic & Pesto Pizza with Deep Fried Crust

Trader Joe's has certainly earned the benefit of the doubt when it comes to frozen pizzas. I cannot remember the last time they offered a new one that I was not at least willing to try. 

(I'm not the biggest fan of pesto, but I do not hate it or anything, however - if this had been another brand, I probably would have passed.)

Also, "deep fried crust".... hell yes. 

I'm not entirely sure what is meant by "Naples style crust." I was in Naples once but I was a teenager. And drunk most of the time. I remember eating pizza; I do not remember what it tasted like. 

As with all Trader Joe's pizzas of late, there was a LOT of crust. However, at least they let you know that up front: the photo on the box is accurane.

It was... good. I can't be any more effusive. The flavors were not bad. It's just that they were so bland. 

This is my main complaint with pesto sauce. It's a good complement to pasta on occasion but it's not flavorful enough to be used as a base for a pizza. Unless you're going to add bold flavors, don't use pesto. 

However, that gave me an idea. 

I reduced balsamic vinegar. 

And drizzled it over the pizza, This made it MUCH better. 

THE RATING: πŸ•πŸ•πŸ•

(THE RATING WITH A BALSAMIC VINEGAR REDUCTION: πŸ•πŸ•πŸ•πŸ•)

Friday, January 15, 2021

Whole Foods 365 Thin Crust Margherita

Do you remember the first Whole Foods pizza I tried? It was barbecue chicken back in October and I was shocked at how much I liked it. 

So I bought several more. And hated the next two I tried - rising crust pepperoni and thin crust supreme. 

This Margherita is the last of them about which I will write. 

Ever. 

I did not hate this one like the previous two... but it wasn't very good. 

So I guess the BBQ chicken pizza was the outlier. 

Here's the deal: This Margherita pizza had a decent crust - it was one of the most buttery crusts I have ever had on a frozen pizza. And the sauce was very tomato-forward; unlike the last two 365 pizzas, this actually had good flavors. 

I wish there had been more pronounced garlic flavor, but then again I saw that about almost everything I eat that contains garlic. (In my mid-20s, I had a coworker who was half-Mexican, half-Salvadoran, and that dude could eat spicier foods and more garlic than anyone I have ever met. One day, the two of us decided to order a pizza for lunch and requested TRIPLE garlic on it. It was the only pizza of my life where I shrugged and said "Okay, yeah, that was too much garlic." Jose agreed.)

But overall, this thing was just too boring. 

So I have now eaten four Whole Foods pizzas. One was delicious, two were not good, and this one was completely middle-of-the-road.

I don't use half-slice ratings, but if I did, this one would be the exact definition of two-and-a-half. The reason I'm going to bump it up to three is that this pie's blandness served as a perfect vehicle for adding hot sauce. 

THE RATING: πŸ•πŸ•πŸ•

Friday, January 8, 2021

WisePies Hatch Green Chile Four Cheese

 
I'll give it to WisePies - their packaging is cool. The box invokes memories of many of the great pizzerias I have visited on vacations in New York City over the years, to say nothing of the 18 months that I lived in Brooklyn. The red and white striping, the cool hat in the logo... I had hopes that this pizza would be good. 

Spoiler alert: The packaging is the best part of the pizza. By far. 

First of all, WisPies is based in Albuquerque. So I don't know why they chose their name. 

(There is also a pizza place in Albuquerque called Goodfellas, which just happens to be the name of my favorite movie... and it was one of the three worst pizzas I have ever tried.) 

Second... the company did not originate as a classic pizzeria, but rather a fast food business, and it's now closed. Does that inspire good feelings? 

Hatch green chiles are delicious. It was disappointing to find such a meager amount. 

Oh boy. 

Where to begin. 

Let's start with the crust. 

When people say they hate frozen pizza crust, this is exactly of what they are speaking. Flavorless and tasting stale even when baked. 

I roll my eyes when someone says a crust tastes "like cardboard." First of all, it is perhaps the biggest clichΓ© in food, but more importantly... who the fuck has ever eaten cardboard? How do you know what cardboard tastes like? Can't you find any other way to put down a crust?

That being said, if I ever did take a bite of cardboard, I would not be shocked to find it tastes like this. 

The Hatch chiles were some of the worst I have ever had. A great Hatch chile - and freshly-roasted Hatch chiles are one of the great foods in the world - contains a depth of earthy flavors and spices that make you wonder why you don't put Hatch chiles on everything you eat. 

These had no flavor and no spice whatsoever. They might as well have been bell peppers.

The pizza sauce was the lone highlight of the pie: it tasted like roasted tomatos and fresh herbs. I wish they had put any of the effort that went into making the sauce into the rest of the pizza, too. 

WisePies offers other flavors but this was such a staggering disappointment that there is no way I will ever try any of them. 

THE RATING: πŸ•

Friday, January 1, 2021

Happy New Year

I did not eat any frozen pizza this week, but I have two planned for today while I watch college football, so I will be back next week for sure.