Friday, March 26, 2021

Trader Joe's Organic 3 Cheese Pizza

I wasn't terribly impressed with Trader Joe's take on a four-cheese pizza. 

So what are the odds that I will like the three-cheese version? 

There's only one way to find out. 

It looks the same as the four-cheese. 

It tasted... well, how should i put this... it tasted fine. 

But something was missing. 

(And no, not a fourth cheese.)

I kept expecting more flavor in each bite, and it just wasn't there. It reminded me of a decent Italian restaurant's breadsticks. Yeah, it's nice to snack on, but I don't want to eat it as a main course. 

It was satisfying, and on those occasions when a big snowstorm is coming and I load up on Trader Joe's frozen pizzas, I will still buy this one. It is an excellent platform for adding hot sauce, which is something I enjoy doing to cheese pizzas. 

But I don't understand why the carry both this pizza and a four-cheese version. It's redundant. 

THE RATING: 🍕🍕🍕

Friday, March 12, 2021

Sam's Choice Thin Crust Philly Cheese Steak Pizza


There are almost no foods in the entire world better than a truly great cheesesteak. 

Unfortunately, there are almost no foods worse than a crappy cheesesteak. 

Ordinarily, I would not expect a cheesesteak to translate well to pizza. However... I said the exact same thing about a Cuban sandwich, and Kroger's take on the Cuban sandwich was one of the best pizzas to feature on this blog.

So... why not?

The frozen steak looked unappetizing. I mean, I'm not sure I have ever seen frozen steak that looked anything other than unappetizing, but still. 

The combination of the mozzarella and "creamy cheese sauce" was delicious. It reminded me of the beautiful grease bomb quality of a good cheesesteak. 

But that was the only good part about it. 

The green peppers were flavorless, as frozen peppers usually are. 

The steak was crappy but then again I have never had good steak on a pizza. In fact... I'm not sure if I have ever had any steak on a pizza before. Maybe flank steak at some point. But obviously it wasn't that memorable. 

If you're craving a cheesesteak, seek out a good one in your town. Don't get this pizza. I won't be getting it again. 

THE RATING: 🍕🍕

Friday, March 5, 2021

Foster Farms Smart Crust Uncured Pepperoni

Pizza is not a healthy food. There is pretty much nothing you can do about that. It's bread topped with melted cheese and often other meats. 

That is also, it probably goes without saying, why it is one of the most delicious things in the world. Cheese and gluten taste really, really good. 

What happens if you don't use bread as the base of your pizza?

That's the point of these new Foster Farms pizzas. 

Instead of a traditional pizza crust, they use one made of chicken breast, egg whites, and cheese. 

Understand, this does not make it a healthy pizza. It still is extremely high in calories and fat. 

Especially when you consider how small it is. (I photographed it on top of a Trader Joe's pizza for perspective.)

But in matters of frozen pizza, I don't care about anything except taste. 

There are foods where I will sacrifice flavor for nutrition. Pizza is not one of them. When I eat pizza, be it fresh or frozen, I do not care about health, cost, or convenience. All I care about is how it tastes. 

And how did this one taste?

It was the worst frozen pizza I have ever had. 

The "crust" tasted exactly like an omelet. I could not taste the sauce, nor the cheese on top, nor could I even taste the pepperoni. 

All I could think with each bite was: I'm eating an omelet

Now, if that sounds good to you, by all means, give this pizza a try. If you love pizza but cannot eat carbs, maybe you will like this. 

But you could accomplish the same thing by scrambling some eggs and topping them with cheese and pepperoni. 

(If you are simply trying to avoid gluten, there are much better options for gluten-free frozen pizza.)

I really can't remember the last time I hated a food as much as I did this. 

THE RATING: 🍕